After years of playing ‘Mrs Nice Guy’ by May 2016 I was done with relationships. Three years of hell over my last failed attempt had convinced me it was time to call it quits. And so I spent a year and a half – the longest I’d ever been single – putting myself first and reminding myself that I didn’t need a man in my life to be happy.
And then towards the end of September 2017 something happened. I met a guy on a language exchange night. Nothing happened. But we hit it off in a totally platonic sense and it started a chain reaction in my mind. I spent a couple of weeks hankering after him to no avail, and then a couple of other interesting hopefuls hoved into view and passed like ships in the night. By the time I reached mid October I thought I was going nuts. Something had to give.
I had gone from no interest in men at all, to overnight obsession with anyone who fitted my ‘type’. Towards the end of October I thought ‘what the hell’ and did the one thing I said I would never do, I joined an online dating site. I wasn’t looking for a relationship – I still vowed I was all done with that – I just wanted some action and these websites, for all their front page bravado, are really just hook up sites.
Thankfully, despite being over 40 I looked good for my age and a brief stint in modelling just a few years before meant I had some fairly tantalising photographs to offer that were a good representation of me. And so I got myself verified and joined the thousands of other hopefuls swiping left and right. My confident photos attracted the right kind of guys – no nonsense, say what they want types – who didn’t feel intimidated by my confidence. In fact it was this which attracted them in the first place.
I targeted three interesting possibilites but the algorithms on the site were rubbish and I was being matched with people almost 200 miles from me. Even so, they were worth a second look. Number one never responded to my ‘right swipe’ but to be honest looked a bit safe anyway. Number 2 did but the conversation was slow and polite. Number 3 who heralded from London was a stunner as far as I was concerned – high end management, the low end of middle aged and Italian. More than that his confidence and direct approach was a winner. My heart skipped a beat. I looked at his profile but swiped left. He wasn’t going to be interested in me. He was way out of my league.
Half an hour later he messaged me….