My life changed when I acquired ‘fuck you’ money. Not a huge amount but enough so that I didn’t have to choose between living in houseshares with psychotic landladies, boyfriends I had known less than three months or having to do the dreaded return home to parents.
‘Fuck you’ money means I can date without having to consider a partner’s employability. It means I can date who I want without worrying about the long-term impact or about where all the money goes.
I have learned to live on tiny budgets and cut corners to ensure that my ‘fuck you’ fund remains intact, so that I never have to rely on someone else for the roof over my head or the food in my cupboard or get other people out of their financial problems because of the impact it has on me and my security.
This has been perhaps the biggest single factor in me being able to take control of my life. And it happened in 2018.
Everyone should have ‘fuck you’ money. It’s like the fund that they tell you, you should have stashed away in case of emergencies like unemployment or a pandemic. It used to be 3 months worth of household bills. Then it was six months. Now, given the last 18 months it’s more like a year. That’s a lot of money, but you must do it – man, woman, single, partnered, living alone, living with others.
Because you never know what’s around the corner, and money always deals with the practical elements of a problem. It might not buy you happiness, but it can bring you a kind of freedom. At the very least, it can take the sting out of a situation where you’re worrying about so much more than just your relationship.