221: Why Are Increasing Numbers of Women Choosing to Be Single?

The revolution is here. Women no longer need men to live a fulfilling and secure life. We don’t need their ability to drive, bring in an income, or get a mortgage, and we don’t have to put up with affairs, physical or mental abuse or ‘roll on, roll off’ sex to acquire, or hold on to, these things.

History lessons aside, let’s also remember that single does not mean celibate and you can choose any relationship style you like if you want sex, intimacy and emotional connection without having to find ‘the one’ to do it. If you want a child – well, a man’s role in that is essentially nothing more than perfunctory at best.

How you align all those things depends entirely on your mental state, your upbringing, your culture, your financial situation, and how secure you are in yourself. Can you cope with an open relationship, one where you are with someone, but not committed to them in relationship terms? Maybe you need someone for occasional bedroom gymnastics and family gatherings where having a plus one is an advantage, but you don’t want to have to put up with all the other hassle that comes with being ‘coupled’.

I have never worried about turning up to an event, single. I don’t care what people think, because single is good and that’s the problem with how I read this article, that it is written from the perspective of someone perpetually single, who doesn’t want to be.

I like being single, but I refuse to give up my sexual urges and my need for intimacy with a man. I, of course, am lucky in that I don’t have friends and family who are worried about my single status and I have the freedom to choose how I get my sexual urges satisfied. Equally, I don’t need to announce the fact. I am under no societal pressure to redress the balance and become someone’s ‘other half’ – a term I loathe. If it happens, and I do find someone, then it’ll happen. But I am not looking for it.

I am comfortable in settings where I am single, even the only single person in the room and I don’t care for anyone’s misgivings about that. I don’t need your affirmation. The truth is, I probably get better sex than you and my relationships will never become boring. I will never have to ‘settle’.

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