192: The Ex Friend Request

What is it with friend requests from ex’s? It’s one thing to have a little nosey around the internet to see how someone’s doing – the silent stalker effect, except you really don’t want to see them again and you really don’t want them to know you’ve been looking at them. But it’s quite another to just send them a Facebook friend request. I suppose it’s because I have my profile set to private, and if they’re going to find out anything about me, I’d have to open the door. As if I’m going to do that.

I’ve had the occasional re-friend request on dating sites, ironically after I’ve been ghosted. But it used to be that I would see them months later because I would check in to those sites so rarely. I’ve also had several on Facebook.

But this was a friend request from my ex-husband who I haven’t seen for 12 years. Why would you do that? Have you done that? The friend request is a more blatant form of stalking. It implies you want to know them regardless of the water under the bridge. It presumes that you think they will want to reciprocate.

I don’t do ex’s. I never have, beyond working out whether they are alive or dead, married or single, child free or have a whole brood (almost always the latter which reaffirms to me that the break up was the right course of action for me).

The problem with social media is that you can never truly walk away. If you have a footprint on the internet there is always someone out there watching you, seeing what happened after the credits rolled. If you struggled with a break up, there will always be something out there trying to draw you back, no matter how much you want to move on.

Which is why taking care with your internet usage is so very important.

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