How long after you’ve sent a message to someone you’ve been seeing and you’ve not had a reply do you assume you’ve been ghosted? A few days? A week? A month? Six months? A year?
I will openly admit to ghosting. It’s just easier. I am a poor communicator. I don’t trust people and I am fearful of confrontation. Blame my childhood. I make no apologies. And frankly when you look at the past behaviour of the kinds of people I’ve dated I don’t think they deserve much better. When you’re dating someone purely for the sex you know that you’re a convenience because they don’t want to have to deal with your emotional shit. It’s a feeling exaggerated when you find out they’re messaging another dozen girls on dating sites, looking for the next hook up and you know they have no interest in protected sex. Well, I kinda lose respect. I’m talking about the kinds of guys who are single because they screwed around behind their partners back, or are married and currently screwing around behind their wife’s back. I mean, do you think they deserve compassion? They didn’t learn from the lesson. In fact they are indulging in it.
I have been ghosted plenty of times. When guys are keen you know it, so a silent response tells me all I need to hear. I don’t harass or try again and again. I’m not needy or desperate. Plenty more fish like that in the sea.
But I get messages a year after I have had contact with someone, even people I never met. A solitary wank video is not inspiring. A demand for naked photos is just rude. And when you only message me because you haven’t got anywhere else to stick your dick – well – you don’t deserve much more than a silent response.
On line dating was fun for a while. But yawn. I am currently happily introverted and don’t need to be someone’s vessel right now.