170: Status Labels – Divorced

Sarah Millican the stand up comedian, post divorce, and writing in her book ‘How To Be Champion’ asked the question:

‘When are you not divorced anymore?’

A good question and one with many answers. I suspect it depends on where you stand in the divorce and how you feel about your ex. You may be trying to get as far away from the situation as quickly as possible. You might still be hoping for a text message from them.

As a separation and divorce instigator, whilst not looking back on it with fond memories, I have found it easier to move on from than the other person in this set up. In fact, it was reasonably immediate for me as I packed my stuff and moved city. I don’t do fresh starts by half. I am also not a one to dwell on things. Like regret, it is pointless in many respects.

It’s now been 10 years since it was written on paper, registered for all eternity, but I still look all the way down the status list when I’m filling out forms. And more often than not I opt for ‘Ms’ as my title, since I think I’m too old to be a ‘Miss’ anymore and divorce does make you feel more like a grownup with something to hide.

When asked on official forms, or anything really, I always put my status as single. I may be divorced but I am single. Having to write ‘divorced’ on everything for the rest of my life seems like a unnecessary badge to have to wear. Especially when it has no bearing on my life.

I’ve never put my status as divorced on any dating profiles either. I prefer to keep it out of conversation because it has no bearing on anything else and certainly not my dating status.

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