148: Double Date

The joy of doing what I do, is flexibility. I like not planning. I like surprises, I like a jolt to a dull routine. I hate routine. Last week Mike had told me he was coming to town for business again. We were booked for Monday night.

On Sunday Harry had messaged me to say, ‘free tonight?’ which was very unexpected. And I knew tonight mean’t into tomorrow too. We are both similarly employed. He didn’t have to go until lunch time. So here I was with two on one day. That is not a situation I feel comfortable with. It’s not a sex conveyor belt.

When Harry had gone, and as I was getting ready to go and meet Mike, I had a sudden short panic attack. What was I doing? This wasn’t fair on Harry. I stress we have not had that conversation. Whilst exclusivity isn’t the name of the game, we’ve not had THAT discussion. We are still very early days. It’s all about connection at the moment and I don’t think for one minute that he is a long termer. But he continues to inspire me, and I love that.

At the moment I started to panic I had to reel myself in. This was MG all over again, and look what happened to that. I feel no guilt for Mike. Why should I? That’s not what this is about. Putting all your eggs into one basket, so to speak, isn’t how this should work, whether you’re looking for someone exclusive or not. There are many timewasters out there and there’s no point in doing it one at a time, if someone else makes an appearance on your scene. Mantorage dating all the way. It works on both sides.

My trio (3 is the magic number) is working out well. I have settled into a perfect routine of sorts and I’m hoping it trips along for a long time yet. I am rediscovering my mojo in work and my personal life. Some of it has been down to me, a lot of it inspired by situations beyond my control, and a lot of it from Harry. He came along at the right time, it’s helped me transition enormously, and wherever we are going, he’s achieved something none of the others has ever done.

 

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