52: Ex

My ex, as some of you will have gathered by now, is a complete twat, a self serving moron of the highest order. Traditionally I have got myself as far away from exs as I possibly can. It always meant moving cities. But I am very much in favour of clean breaks and living anywhere you risk bumping into an ex is a no-no in my book.

This particular one however, ended up being a hanger on because I didn’t move city and because he was less of an emotional wimp than the others. We actually got on quite well post break-up, but the process with him was unusually long so it simply devolved down into a friendship of sorts. Instead of the fast track escape I was used to, I spent most of my three years regretting being with him, followed by 6 months of having to live with him post breakup because of our contract on a rental property that couldn’t be broken.

Considering he had sabotaged the relationship, the turn around in our roles has been interesting. He is now the one messaging me. He is obviously trying to get back with me in some kind of strange open way since he’s still living with the girl he was sleeping with when I finally ditched him.

Quite simply, I wouldn’t go back to him if he was the last man on earth. I’d need to have lost my mind to do that. I can still remember how he treated me, I won’t forget that it took a year of single after I finally turned my back on him (and 16 months since we split) to get enough of my confidence and self respect back to even consider dating again last October, when this blog came into being. A recent message from him asking what I was doing for my birthday was particularly jarring considering birthdays, Christmas and Valentines Day were out when we were together.

The tables turned in this way has been empowering. I am now holding the cards. I am the strong one, I am the one who couldn’t care less. Mr Mindfuck has turned into ‘I’ve been thinking about you’. He is as needy as anyone I have ever messaged through online dating.

So it’s been a learning curve, and I’m not quite done with him yet because it does make me feel like I have the upper hand and that’s been good for my ego. In turn, it has helped me repair and gain back my confidence. He says he regrets how he treated me. I couldn’t care less. I learned a valuable set of lessons which mean I am here where I am now. And that’s the best place I’ve ever been in.

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