Meet Up is a great way to find groups of people with similar interests. It doesn’t always work out but sometimes you find individuals and you really hit it off.
Not surprisingly there are a few groups for niche sexual persuasions. Here, there is one for Polyamory and Consenting Non Monogamy. As I was at a loose end on Saturday I decided to give it a go. I’m not really into becoming a part of a group. I dislike labels and I don’t need that affirmation. But I was curious to see what it was all about. The meet up consisted of 3 poly couples, me and another bloke who turned up late and had to go early because he had somewhere else to be.
The rules clearly stipulate that it is not a dating group and it has a simple set up – an informal talk on a particular subject to get the ball rolling and then socialising. It’s a three hour meet up. The subject of this meet up was ‘Do I have to like my metamour’. Now, I’m not into polyamory – at least I don’t think I am. I don’t want to be part of one big happy group (although I am aware that is not usually the set up). It smacks of ‘cult’ and sounds like it could get really complicated. I am happy knowing that my partners are actively seeking out or are in other relationships but I do not need to know the details and I certainly don’t want to meet them.
Nonetheless it was an interesting subject and I am certainly up for finding out how other people manage their situations. Even though the way I operate isn’t a secret from the guys I date because we’re all doing it, some of the people in the group didn’t understand that I didn’t want to share any details with my partners. I don’t send out a text saying, btw I won’t be online tonight because I’m fucking someone else. In the group, they would. I can go for days without hearing from one of my guys because we have other lives and that’s fine by me.
Essentially this is the difference between what the others at the meetup do, and what I do. Their relationships, all of them, are like proper relationships. Mine aren’t. I am not emotionally invested in my dates, they are, at least they aim to be if everything goes to plan. One of the couples is getting married next Saturday. I couldn’t imagine being that committed to one person at the moment, and certainly not more than one. It just sounds so time consuming and complicated.
I’m going to go to their next meeting. I quite enjoyed this one and I think it’s worth pursuing if only for the stories I am hearing and the experiences which may be worth banking for a rainy day.