I had my first full on conversation about condoms with one of the guys I am in touch wit,h a few weeks back. I am genuinely confused by the number of men who don’t mention or won’t use condoms because, it seems, they just don’t care. Otherwise they’d mention it, right? Even more so the ones who, when I chat to them about seeing other guys say, ‘make sure you use a condom’, but don’t consider it for themselves. I don’t even know how that works.
They are assuming I’m the safe one, they are are assuming I am on some kind of birth control (I could be one of those women desperate for a kid and willing to screw anyone to get one), and they are assuming I get tested. STI’s are on the rise in the UK. I have no idea about the rest of the world, but we’re basically all putting it about and we don’t seem to care.
Joe, who I had the conversation with said he’d rather take the risk. I am thankful I’ve gone my whole life having never caught anything from anyone. So to mess up now would be a mistake. However, I’m not going to lie, I have taken risks.
The AIDS epidemic seems to be something that happened to other people, and the risk of picking up some kind of STI genuinely doesn’t seem to cross men’s minds. The occasional fear of getting someone pregnant is the only thing that makes a few men consider condoms (Mike) and only a few instinctively used them (Neil and Izzy).
It’s not something I’ve had to really consider before. I’ve always been in long term monogamous relationships and I was always on the pill because there was no way I was getting pregnant. So now that I’m dating in a different way I am surprised by this risk taking culture that seems to pervade wherever I go. Have I completely missed something here?
I’m booked in for my first STI check next week since I started the online dating fiasco. I’ve not been terribly well behaved. My bad. But I get why people take risks. It always happens to someone else, and everything is treatable……right?