Mike didn’t want to wait until the end of January for our second meeting. Every so often I’d get texts from him. He’d randomly get a hard on in the office when his thoughts strayed to us, which I found funny. I have a warped sense of humour in that sense. I like that little bit of control I can have purely from a text.
There’s 200 miles between us so we arranged a half way point which happened to be near a client I needed to visit for work so I booked her in for the evening of the 10th January for a home visit, and Mike arranged a hotel for the day. He took the train and booked an out of town ‘meeting’. I drove. Our last meeting had been brief, and wasn’t supposed to be a hotel meet up, just coffee to see if we clicked. We’d squeezed in 3 hours. So an all day session, and now that we knew each other better, was going to be interesting.
We’d discussed the sorts of things we were going to do. We’d talked about sensory play, something I wanted to try and had experience of so that was the general direction of our day. I hadn’t expected what I got. It turns out Mike has more of a dark side than I gave him credit for. He turned up with a rucksack of toys and equipment. I won’t go into the details but he’s definitely no stranger to the kinkier side of sex. And coupled with his suited and booted managerial image and refined manner, it’s more 50 Shades of Grey than anything I’ve ever experienced. I put my trust in him. I was in a vulnerable position, quite literally. He said he was surprised that I trusted him at a second meeting. Like I said, I’m a pretty good judge of character. Of course, he doesn’t know that I know his real identity. At least not all of it.
We broke half way to go for lunch. And our conversation strayed into his personal situation. I don’t ask, but he dropped a few things into conversation and I commented back and it went from there. I knew he was married. I had no idea what his set up was. His Tinder line was that he was in a ‘jaded but amicable marriage’.
I found out a bit more at our second meeting. Married yes. He has kids. Clearly they’ve settled into a very average set up and he obviously has tastes which he isn’t getting from his wife. Maybe he never did. It may be that there’s nothing going on between them at all in the bedroom now.
I know that he’d had three short term partners before me last year and has several conversations with others ongoing. He likes us to talk about our past experiences, and who we’re seeing. He’s not looking for exclusivity in any way. Most of Mike’s relationships have fizzled after a few months. He is very matter of fact. He is married, that’s it. Women have changed their minds because he is married, because they’ve found other people and Mike is the kind of person who will drop someone without a thought if they become hassle. At the moment this is why we work so well. There is no hassle. I have no expectation of him beyond what I already get.
We talked about the ‘paper trail’, how he covers his tracks in everything where his extra relationships are concerned from separate bank accounts to cash for everything and not leaving any bodily evidence his wife would spot. He said he wasn’t a particularly good liar and that in all honesty she’s probably had an idea for years about what he gets up to but hasn’t said anything. I said maybe she’d rather take that and not rock the boat. He looked at me, and in a (I thought) slightly cold and matter a fact way said, ‘she’d be making a mistake if she did’. Certainly it seems like he’s willing to keep the peace for the sake of his public image (at least I think that’s a part of it).
I suspect it could get very messy if things changed. Mike does well for himself. He has a high ranking job in his company. They probably have a really nice house, they have several cars, and probably enjoy expensive holidays. Sometimes innocent partners are willing to take the sacrifice. Maybe he doesn’t want to have to deal with how much of everything he would lose in a divorce. Maybe she has more money than him. Who knows, maybe she has a lover.
I thought about this for a while. Mike certainly wasn’t the victim in all this. But things change. You don’t settle down with someone with the expectation that it’s all going to go wrong at some point. Even so, I started to suspect Mike was a serial womaniser of a very particular variety. For me it’s not a big deal. I don’t fancy him in that sense. We get on well and have intelligent discussions but this really is about sexual gratification. For me, he is very different to everyone else I am seeing. He adds a whole other level and now that we’ve strayed into far less vanilla territory, I think this is going to go places for a while.