Andrè doesn’t do dick pics. He has a very naughty side to him but he keeps it under wraps and I’m learning new things about him all the time. I like the ones you would never know have that bad streak, but to be honest, they all do, in their own way!
Andrè and me talk about our experiences. He says he likes that because he’s never had that opportunity before. I like to know a date’s past – what makes him tick. It helps me understand why he is where he is, because people come at casual online dating for a variety of reasons that rarely have anything to do with just sleeping around.
I never demand a DP but once I have sent a photo or two (or they’ve had access to my private Badoo album) potential dates realise it’s okay and I’m not going to be offended. Sometimes they offer to send one. Most of the time I’ll ask first.
So after me not asking for about a week (and after we’d met twice) and in the midst of a cheeky conversation about naked selfies of me that he had, Andrè relented and sent me a couple of shots from his phone. He said he never sent them as a rule but that for me he would. And then the next day, about 5pm, I unexpectedly received a video. Short and sweet, a post shower wank video. Only Gianluca, Dean and Nathan ever sent me videos.
It’s brave really. I mean, Gianluca doesn’t really seem that bothered, he’ll send me photos, videos and saucy texts from work, home, on holiday, when he’s waiting to pick up his kids from school, wherever. And potentially these images could end up anywhere. Gianluca thinks he’s anonymous, that all I really know about him is his first name, his home town and date of birth. He doesn’t know I tracked him to his Linkedin profile because I needed to know he was real.
When you send imagery of this nature it’s solidifying a bond of trust. We all have something to lose if images end up in the wrong hands. We all have jobs, families, social media, colleagues and friends. Any one of us could be a catfish or just a vindictive person who gets a kick from shitting all over someone else’s life. But the trust is reciprocal, even if it is after a meet. It affirms that we are all doing this for the same reasons. For me, getting those images post having enough to identify someone is the final signing on the dotted line that says, yes we will probably meet.
For me it’s never an anonymous interjection, they are never unsolicited, and whilst I wouldn ‘t say they flatter me, I do get that it’s not just some random pervy thing they are doing. Because our relationships are centred around sex it’s important to know what you’re getting otherwise the relationship is pointless. The other stuff comes afterwards, although it can be as much a deal-breaker as your chosen date being a complete failure in the bedroom. So to me a DP isn’t disrespectful, or pervy or just stupid, it’s a part of the process.